i feel ashamed. i don't think this is absent grief. i loved this person with my entire being. i'm worried that there's something wrong with me. is this my way of grieving? is my coping mechanism letting go of all sentiment and walking through the motions? i feel so out of place; they keep asking me if i'm okay; i'm thinking of putting on the act of being completely distraught so that everyone else will leave me alone. i'm so drained and i think it's mostly this anxiety over my reaction. i'm hungry and exhausted and i really just want to know what to do?
are any of you who have experience in this department willing to give me some advice? i can't talk to my family, most of them are in an incurable state. the wound is still very fresh.